Discussion:
Possibly the best American lawyer joke of all time
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Rob Miller
2012-07-25 10:09:43 UTC
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The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the
city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a
visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even
though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a
penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community
through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show
you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge
medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"

Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh . . . no, I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled
veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his
wife and six children?"

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off
again.

"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a
dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three
children, one of whom is disabled and another who has learning disabilities
requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry, I had
no idea."

And the lawyer says, "So. . . if I didn't give any money to them, what makes
you think I'd give any to you?"
--
You say the magic's gone, well I'm not a magician. You say the spark has
gone, well get an electrician.
b***@gmail.com
2012-08-21 19:48:56 UTC
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Post by Rob Miller
The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the
city's most successful lawyer. So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a
visit in his lavish office.
The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even
though your annual income is over two million dollars, you don't give a
penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something back to your community
through the United Way?"
The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show
you that my mother is dying after a long, painful illness and she has huge
medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbles, "Uh . . . no, I didn't know that."
"Secondly," says the lawyer, "did it show that my brother, a disabled
veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and is unable to support his
wife and six children?"
The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off
again.
"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a
dreadful car accident, leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three
children, one of whom is disabled and another who has learning disabilities
requiring an array of private tutors?"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm so sorry, I had
no idea."
And the lawyer says, "So. . . if I didn't give any money to them, what makes
you think I'd give any to you?"
--
You say the magic's gone, well I'm not a magician. You say the spark has
gone, well get an electrician.
Sounds like an old adage. Still funny. I personally donate to charity, and I know a lot of successful attorneys who do the same. I think most people realize that the givers are actually the receivers. Bukh Law Firm, P.C. 14 Wall Street New York NY 10005, (212) 729-1632 http://www.nyccriminallawyer.com
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